There is a BIG difference in takeoff between the 17's and 20" wheels and tires. My truck kind of did what yours does, but when they flashed the truck soon after I got it, and that got rid of 85% of the "lag". The rest went away at 4K miles and after the battery was disconnected when a remote starter was installed. My truck has 3.92 gears with the posi. Mine has just a tiny bit of delay sifting, and it's fine, I'm used to it. My truck's only issue, with the exception of the rear diff having to be rebuilt when it ground up a clip last year, has been a coming and going oil consumption problem. One time, it chugs a quart in 5-600 miles, then it goes 1500, then 1200, then back to 6-700, and then back up to 2000, then back down again. It's not leaking it, my floor is clean, the exhaust pipe isn't really sooty, the coolant has no oil in it, and the oil has no coolant in it. I hate having to constantly check the oil every two tanks of gas. Since I reported it, it has mostly gone over 1000 miles, so Chrysler won't do anything, but last week, it was down a quart less than 700 miles after I had the oil changed and it was right at the full mark. It's running fine, and getting the best milage Ihave ever got around town, about 12.7mpg
My friend was shocked when he put the 17's on, he was busting the tires loose just driving it like he always did, and if he got on it like he did when he was driving it hard, the rear tires would go up in smoke.
I really like the Durango, as long as I don't have to look at one. A friend has an 02 and an 05, the newer one is a much better vehicle in every way, but IMO, it's the most hideous SUV made, except for the gawdawful Pontiac Aztek and it's clones. The Chrysler version, the Aspen looks 10X better, but it's still homely compared to a Tahoe or Yukon. The Dakota is one ugly dog anymore, that front end is just plain bad, worse than the last gen of Chevy trucks, and that was pretty bad.