Author Topic: girls or guns... (Read 1401 times)

mjbgalt · « **on:** August 05, 2006, 10:53:37 AM »

My girlfriend (whom i was going to ask to be my wife) has chosen to take a step back and get her life in order instead of being with me. i am not happy about it but i have to admit i am proud of her bravery and work ethic...and it's hurting like hell but i think she is doing what she needs to do.

so i spent a day with tears in my eyes and missing her. and i spent a day at work. and then i spent a day in the gunshop. i got a bonus at work and had some cash and was going to use it for a ring...

she isn't in the marrying mindset right now...

so i have a pretty new (to me) .22-250 stainless Vanguard in my safe. i traded my contender and 50 bucks for it...got a good deal on it.

i feel better already.

-Matt

Redhawk1 · « **Reply #1 on:** August 05, 2006, 12:54:32 PM »

Why to go, get another gun and you may forget her completely. Seriously though, good luck.

USMC0332 · « **Reply #2 on:** August 05, 2006, 03:17:59 PM »

Relationship issues are the very pits. Shooting is the best stress reliever that I have yet encountered. It takes all of my focus, and the rest of my issues are put far away for a time. As I cannot afford to take a vacation this year I settle for mini vacations at the shooting range.

victorcharlie · « **Reply #3 on:** August 05, 2006, 03:22:03 PM »

Your better off to find out now. That doesn't offer you any comfort but I woke up one morning and the ex told me I don't love you, I never loved you and I won't ever love you. When you get home I won't be here. When I got home she and my 2 baby girls were gone.........Love hurts.....

I've had my bride now for 22 years......she's the greatest.........

mjbgalt · « **Reply #4 on:** August 05, 2006, 04:02:58 PM »

i cant be mad...i hope she will come back...she asked for my friendship through this process of getting her life in order...paying off debt and setting things right...i support her and i am proud of her. i just hope i didn't give her the self-confidence and faith it takes to find someone else. lol

-Matt

victorcharlie · « **Reply #5 on:** August 06, 2006, 02:32:49 AM »

Either way Matt......there's plenty of women out there..........you just gotta keep your bait in the water.........

What's the old saying? If you love someone let them go.....if they come back they were yours all the time......if they don't come back then they never were yours anyway.

Use this time to enjoy the things you like to do........

oso45-70 · « **Reply #6 on:** August 06, 2006, 04:35:59 AM »

Matt, My suggestion would be is get a sack full of ammo for the 22-250 and find someplace where there is an over population of P-Dogs and spend the better part of a week concentrating on your shooting ability and see if you don't have a change of heart. This is from an old man that has been there and done that and it worked for me, Good luck......Joe.......

Cheesehead · « **Reply #7 on:** August 06, 2006, 04:49:46 AM »

I know it hurts. Been there done that. What everyone is saying is summed up as what I call Range Therapy. A pail full of ammo, many trips to the range. Range therapy has worked for me. Good luck.

Cheese

mjbgalt · « **Reply #8 on:** August 06, 2006, 05:34:14 AM »

we have discussed this...and she is doing what she thinks is best for her and to be honest it helps me too...bad for my heart but good for my head...i realized my stubbornness and my "take no prisoners" approach to her family and friends was way off base.

and i also realized i love her enough to keep an open mind and go to church with her and give that (and other things) an honest try even though i had already made up my mind about them.

in fact this could be wonderful for our relationship...that is, if she comes back and i can show her what i have learned from my thinking.

i sold my blackhawk to help save for a ring...so i was pretty damn serious.

-Matt

hardertr · « **Reply #9 on:** August 06, 2006, 07:22:01 AM »

Stay true to yourself Matt. I've gone through this very thing a couple of times, and each time seemed harder than the last. BE CAREFUL THOUGH...you can easily fall into the trap I did. It got to the point that if I even THOUGHT one of my past "Ms. Rights" was considering bailing on the relationship, I would do my "pawn shop rounds" in an effor to ease the pain.

In the end, I ended up with a lot of "relationship experience" and one HELL of a gun collection! Looking back, I'm sure there is a downside to it, but it sure is harder to find once the the storms pass.

Hang in there, it'll get better.

You have plenty of buddies here with the same interrests and heartbreaks...we'll get you through it!

mjbgalt · « **Reply #10 on:** August 06, 2006, 08:15:11 AM »

i was kind of kidding about the retail therapy. it's not that serious. anyway, she just needs a friend through this and i am going to be there for her. and i hope when she comes back (if) she will remember who was there for her.

and to keep this on topic, she said she wants to go shooting with me. i may get to buy another gun...for her.

-Matt

hardertr · « **Reply #11 on:** August 06, 2006, 08:25:02 AM »

If she's worth it, you'll buy a COUPLE of guns...so SHE has a choice when it's range time. If my wife only knew how many "choices" she has because I "care so much for her"...well....now that I think about it, maybe I should just keep her out of my safe.

mjbgalt · « **Reply #12 on:** August 06, 2006, 09:01:55 AM »

gonna buy a ring first...

-Mjb

Mikey · « **Reply #13 on:** August 07, 2006, 02:37:39 AM »

mjbgalt: afte my wife died I floundered for a while, bought some new guns, went shootin' a bunch, hung with my dawgs, reloaded a lot and shot some more but it wasn't a real happy time for me. I met a wonderful gal who had suffered through such a bad marriage she never even wanted to hear the word again and after a couple of years we split. Now that hurt a whole bunch, and I floundered for a whjile again but we are still friends. However, I met a totally wonderful gal who is now my fiance and living with me here. We will marry, sometime in the future but I guess that what I want to tellya is that you just have to keep your eyes open man, 'cause they are all over the place and you will find the right one for you - believe me, it works and it will happen.

Chill for a bit and take your face off your sleeve if it wound up there. There are a lot of ruthless women out there who are just waiting to hook some lonely guy and make his life miserable so beware. You will find the right one and then all will be right with ya. HTH. Mikey.

mjbgalt · « **Reply #14 on:** August 07, 2006, 05:26:29 AM »

already went through this too many times. at this point i know what i want and need...she is it...

i am divorced and i know what it is to lose and to learn.

i am sorry to hear you've been through all that. no one deserves that.

-Matt

skb2706 · « **Reply #15 on:** August 07, 2006, 05:35:51 AM »

This is not meant to sound insensitive ....more of a reality check. Anytime someone in my life wants to "step back and get their life in order" ........I need that person like I need the plague. Better off without her and you can bet it won't be the last time she needs to step back and get their life in order. Some people never get their life in order.

Sounds like she has other arrangements.............................................

mjbgalt · « **Reply #16 on:** August 07, 2006, 05:58:43 AM »

not exactly...she is 22 and got herself in with the wrong roommate and the wrong job, etc. she realized this (something some folks never do) and chose to fix it. to do so it requires nother job for right now and enrolling in college to finish her degree.

can't blame her for that.

-Matt

victorcharlie · « **Reply #17 on:** August 07, 2006, 01:26:29 PM »

Just be careful and don't be a sap..........right now your the one doing all the giving.......not good.......I kind of agree with skb2706
.....back off and see if she comes around...........

I've seen a lot of guys give, give, and give trying to make things work and then wind up felling broke and used.

DWTim · « **Reply #18 on:** August 07, 2006, 03:23:41 PM »

Been through the marriage thing. Went through the divorce thing. Just coming around financially. Maybe I'm not the best teacher, but I think the thread's subject is appropriate: Girls or guns. Personally, I'm not looking for a "girl" any longer, I'm looking for a "woman". They generally don't become women until after 35 around these parts.

I just don't play games any longer. If I was in this situation, I'd say, "well, I'm not gonna wait up while you do 'Whitman's Sampler' with your life. See ya around." No hard feelings, but if that's what makes her happy, I'm not going to stop her.

EDIT: I have to add, though, I admire your lady-friend's take-charge attitude with her life. My ex-wife hated working, hated studying. About the old things she did like were sitting around watching TV, and going to the mall. I pushed her to get an associate's degree, and ended up doing most of her homework.

Give her space. Don't obsess, it'll just rub her the wrong way during a stressful time in her life.

mjbgalt · « **Reply #19 on:** August 07, 2006, 03:27:58 PM »

i think you guys are missing the fact that she just isnt a game player to start with and told me it was her problem to solve and that she wanted my friendship through this process and that if i find the right girl in the meantime...not to wait for her...that she would be sad but would understand and said i deserve to be happy and not have to wait around for her to do things she says she knows she should have done by now. she is only 22 guys. lol

-MJB

hardertr · « **Reply #20 on:** August 07, 2006, 03:40:47 PM »

Quote from: mjbgalt on August 07, 2006, 03:27:58 PM

she wanted my friendship through this process and that if i find the right girl in the meantime...not to wait for her...that she would be sad but would understand and said i deserve to be happy and not have to wait around for her to do things she says she knows she should have done by now.

Sorry to tell you MJB...my wife got a chuckle out of this. This is girl talk for "I hope you find somebody so I don't feel so guilty" Cut your losses....go for the gun.

( I MEAN...buy a gun...not GRAB THE GUN)

mjbgalt · « **Reply #21 on:** August 07, 2006, 03:48:31 PM »

lol we are sooooo far off topic. bolt action rifles to my problems lol.

i know what it is typical girl talk for. if she was a typical girl i wouldnt be with her in the first place though.

i am going to see what happens and thank you guys for offering your help.

my only real dillemma is whether i should try to win her back or lay low and let her miss me.

-MJB

mjbgalt · « **Reply #22 on:** August 10, 2006, 09:00:59 AM »

i hope i am not the only member offended by your comments. i expect a little more from people here. i am not the mod for this forum but if this was my forum you can be assured that post would be gone.

i was referring to a woman i love, who is taking a short break and will be back. i don't need to create regrets ion the meantime.

-Matt

hardertr · « **Reply #23 on:** August 10, 2006, 11:43:22 AM »

Is there a post missing? Or, was this directed toward my last comment???

mjbgalt · « **Reply #24 on:** August 10, 2006, 12:12:25 PM »

post missing. i moderated. i came, i saw, i deleted

-Matt

victorcharlie · « **Reply #25 on:** August 10, 2006, 12:14:13 PM »

There was a post that has been removed............which contained vulgar words with *&$ seperating some of the characters........just a bit on the crude side.........unless your a sailor!

Matt....son.....you got it bad.........hang in there.....it'll get better.......

mjbgalt · « **Reply #26 on:** August 10, 2006, 12:23:00 PM »

it'll be fine. i am learning to let things go and not worry when i shouldn't.

-Matt

smokey262 · « **Reply #27 on:** August 10, 2006, 02:33:34 PM »

mjbgalt,

The best way out of the hole you are in is to forget the (deleted )quickly, grab yourself by both cheeks and pull yourself out. Do not, I repeat do not look back. Do not get back together with her. Do not be friends with her, or her friends, or her family. Get away from her right now and be done with it.

Do not start drinking heavily, or doing drugs, or anything else self destructive.

Want a new gun? Great, go buy a couple. No more need to pawn your stuff to keep the worthless (deleted) happy.

See, it did not make her happy anyway. Never would have either, not in a hundred years.

If you gotta keep changing yourself to make someone happy it aint worth it. You gotta make yourself happy with you first. Until you got that cleared up do not get involved with some replacement (deleted).

Trust me on this. Somethings just are not made to be.

mjbgalt · « **Reply #28 on:** August 10, 2006, 03:18:02 PM »

wow, i found some serious bitterness among those on the forum. name-calling and assumptions running wild. I think i am going to stop this thread before we get any further into the abyss.

-MJB