i would try some used guns at theclub.. let her shoot 5 or more guns starting with a 20 gauge.. our club members has plenty of guns for sale, and you may get lucky and find what you want for half price with the features you need anyway.. if the gun doesnt fit, has cheek bite, or is too heavy, or is dificult to handle on the line, youll still not have her shooting with you and be out 1000 bucks.. id go with a 20 gauge mag auto, it should be lighter, and when you load it up it will give the same payload os the 12 gauge.. then you can put the wight in the stock with a dead mule, and not make the gun barrel heavy but reduce the recoil.. get a mec junior and reload ounce or 1 1/16 loads and she will beat the pants off you if she gets accurate with it.. one ounce with accuracy will win over 1 1/8 ounce of sloppy power every time.. then shell want to go pheasant hunting, she wont be happy carring the 12 over hill and dale.. take the dead mule out pf the 20 stock and presto you have a wonderful lightweight field gun for a lady.. in fact she may not be able to get it away from you.. now i see tough minded gals and boys shoot 12 gauge all the time, so it depends on the gal.. good luck dave..