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Author Topic: Gatofeo Lube  (Read 1048 times)

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Offline AtlLaw

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Gatofeo Lube
« on: February 02, 2010, 03:54:07 PM »
This was posted about a week shy of 7 years ago.  Now tell me, why am I going thru all these machinations playing with tallow, axel grease, rendered chipmonk cheeks and the like when Gatofeo's stuff has such a proven track record and is so great!?   ;D

Quote from: Gatofeo on February 10, 2003, 07:28:42 PM
Um ... just between you and me, Simonkenton ...
That home-brew lubricant is wondrous stuff.
A paste smeared on the head will cure baldness. Smeared on poker chips, it will encourage drawing to an inside straight. A 90-year-old man ate some, and now Planned Parenthood has him on its Hit-List.
Used as a salve, it removes wrinkles and cellulite. Cheap hamburger cooked in it tastes like Lobster Thermador. A mere pea-sized piece added to your gas tank will increase gas mileage to 300 miles per gallon.
In the presence of anthrax spores, it turns a brilliant, glowing blue. Poured into a paper-thin sheet, it may be viewed through to convert Metric to American Standard sizes. It is said that Seattle Slew and Man O' War were both fed this lubricant and became legends of horse racing.
The Nazis used it to fuel their V2 rockets. Tomato seedlings planted with a pea-sized amount should be planted at least 25 yards from the house, so their fruit doesn't later push the house off the foundation.
Every Fish & Game agency on Earth --- and most in Rigel 7 --- ban its use as fish bait, so effective is it. An M1 Abrams tank painted with the lubricant will resist even the most powerful anti-tank rounds. A bit behind each ear will entrance any woman you desire.
Yep ... it's powerful stuff ... just don't tell anyone. It's that good!
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Offline El Gringo

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Re: Gatofeo Lube
« Reply #1 on: February 07, 2010, 11:28:44 AM »
Its snake oil I tell ya! :D
I'll like to whip some up in the future!  Great stuff!
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Offline Gatofeo

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Re: Gatofeo Lube
« Reply #2 on: February 07, 2010, 05:14:10 PM »
Shhhhhh ... don't spread the marvels of my bullet lubricant too far.
The old gunsmith that had me sign my name on the parchment, in blood, told me that I'd reap all its benefits as long as it was kept secret!
Guess I'll just have to explain what happened to my nine Playboy Bunny girlfriends. They're gonna be awfully disappointed from now on ...  ::)

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"A hit with a .22 is better than a miss with a .44."
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