BigBill, Spence, PB Stallion, John and Bullet Maker - Fellas, we need to plan a trip. First thing we need is 'bait'. That means I'll prolly have to find my sister. She won't mind walking the deep woods late at night without a flashlight, but finding her in the dark ain't for the faint-hearted either. Maybe we should invest in those electronic ears to aid us hear these things as they get closer.
I think what we need to do is dispel the rumors about Bigfoot and prove the exist with actual live sightings, and no bloodletting. Yes, the 444 will handle those big guys but that shouldn't be necessary. I've only read of one instance where a fella thought they were trying to get him and he had hidden himself under a bunch of deadfall they couldn't move, but he never got a look at them, only thought it was a Bigfoot clan.
I think the reason we never see a dead one is 'cause they prolly get et up by something hungrier than all of us put together. Hmmmm, where is my sister?
Anyway, if we can catch one squattin' down, we should be able to, ummm, harvest all the DNA material we need, as that is often carried in animal waste. If there are more than one of us, we could tackle him, introduce ourselves, get some family photos, a few hair samples, possibly a little blood or some spit and make history. If it's a 'she', and anything like my seester, I doan wanna even think about the type of 'history' that might be made.
They don't seem to be too hostile although I think they are territorial, and I think that killin' one ain't the way to go about it. But, you don't want to get too friendly and start trading things with them because someone will then begin selling whiskey and rifles to them and ya'll know what will happen then. I think if we just prove they exist then they can be left alone and we won't have to worry about them any longer. I'm concerned about tryin' to learn their language though, as mistakes can be made and that can be both embarrassing and painful - ummm, so sez my sister's last victim.
Now, 'bout Dudleytown - my brother, the Right Reverand, can fortify us with some right thinkin' stuff before we head out to clean that place up. And, I think the reason flashlights and the like go out is because of the 'magnatiz' - magnetic fields and the like. BigBill - you never did mention why the town is deserted????? We would have to check the 'magnatiz' idea out with a magnetic compass first, during broad daylight, before we go truckin' around there at night and get ourselves thoroughly lost.
Then, after we figger out the basis for all those aberations, we should start looking for the spirits what are being helped out by the natcheral phenomena and send'em all straight to where they need to go, posty hasty. Then we could re-open the town, claim it as a proprietary business, and make even more money. Mebbe we could even encourage Bigfoot and his family to move east? Just a thought. Mikey.
