Author Topic: On the lighter side............ (Read 3475 times)

Oldshooter · « **Reply #30 on:** April 23, 2009, 03:32:51 PM »

My Dad on several occasions: "Everything you do in life good or bad gets paid back to you in kind"

and "You cant hear anything with your mouth open"

Hairtrigger · « **Reply #31 on:** April 23, 2009, 03:39:19 PM »

It's a dog eat dog world and I am wearing Milk Bone underware

mechanic · « **Reply #32 on:** April 23, 2009, 03:46:52 PM »

about as bright as a 2 watt bulb.......

Default · « **Reply #33 on:** April 23, 2009, 03:59:05 PM »

Sucking hind tit

Dont make me stop THIS car

Where theres a will , Theres a way

Think this one might still be in common usage " Dont Tell Mom ! " That was always my favorite

The only stupid question you can ask me is the one you dont

In response to -Where I got _____? The gett'n store

Driving like grampa moses

I brought you into this world boy. And by God i can take you out

You want me to give you something to cry about

Two wrongs dont make a right

Got his a$$ whopped like a red-headed step child

Never eat yellow snow

Butter Head " everything looks good but her head"

Loose lips sink ships

squirrellluck · « **Reply #34 on:** April 23, 2009, 04:47:29 PM »

If it aint broke, fix it til it is.
You'll never have what you want til you want what you have.

gypsyman · « **Reply #35 on:** April 23, 2009, 05:08:53 PM »

few more--
You always find what your looking for, in the last place you look-
shiney as a new penny
(my late mothers favorite) He's so tight, he'ld squeeze a nickel til' the buffalo s**t's
(another one of my mothers favorite's) that's hotter than Dutch love
try and think of a few more--gypsyman

Oldshooter · « **Reply #36 on:** April 23, 2009, 05:24:45 PM »

If brains were dynamite he couldn't blow his nose!

You trying to eyeball me to death boy?

I thought I made a mistake the other day but I was mistaken!

A girl asked(jokingly) my handicapped son the other day if he was a virgin. He thought about it a second and responded; No, I'm a cajun. True story!

SHOOTALL · « **Reply #37 on:** April 24, 2009, 01:52:29 AM »

white on rice , stink on ( you know )

kitchawan kid · « **Reply #38 on:** April 24, 2009, 02:02:16 AM »

You can't miss fast enought

running around like a fart in a mitten.

SHOOTALL · « **Reply #39 on:** April 24, 2009, 02:30:43 AM »

harder than supermans knee cap .

Tommyt · « **Reply #40 on:** April 24, 2009, 02:32:36 AM »

If I had a Nickel

Oldtimer · « **Reply #41 on:** April 24, 2009, 02:46:48 AM »

Don't buy a pig in a poke.
Heather reminded me of some things my German grandmother used to say:
When it was raining and the sun was shining: The devil is beating his wife.
When I overloaded my plate and did not finish it: Your eyes are bigger than your stomach.
When I was all torn up over breaking up with a girl: "Jener Staedchen, jener Maedchen." In every little town, there is another little girl.--- the German version of "Women are like busses. Another one will be along in a few minutes."

She was a tough old woman, and not bigger than a minute!

magooch · « **Reply #42 on:** April 24, 2009, 04:57:39 AM »

Okay, Slowhanddd, you get the blue ribbon. Gawd I wish I could remember some of them.

kinslayer1965 · « **Reply #43 on:** April 24, 2009, 05:11:33 AM »

If you can't change the people around you.....you need to change the people around you.

One of my fathers favorites. Didn't understand it untill I was in my 20s. Smiled when it dawned on me.

AtlLaw · « **Reply #44 on:** April 24, 2009, 05:40:53 AM »

I can't believe nobody said "Lock, Stock and Barrel!"

Oldshooter · « **Reply #45 on:** April 24, 2009, 05:50:43 AM »

You just did pard, Sir!

TribReady · « **Reply #46 on:** April 24, 2009, 06:32:12 AM »

"You can't fix stupid"

Hairtrigger · « **Reply #47 on:** April 24, 2009, 06:45:28 AM »

It must be his day in the barrel

Heather · « **Reply #48 on:** April 24, 2009, 07:11:10 AM »

Put your money where your mouth is.

Put up or shut up.

Dumber than a box of rocks

Don't count your chickens before they hatch

If you run with the dogs you get fleas.

I was born in the dark but it wasn't last night. (One of Mom's favorites)

Dead men tell no tales.

I'll beat you with a whupping stick.

LOL

Heather

Bill of Ojai · « **Reply #49 on:** April 24, 2009, 09:42:24 AM »

"Slicker than snot on a doorknob".

"He's all hat and no cattle".

SHOOTALL · « **Reply #50 on:** April 24, 2009, 09:46:13 AM »

like your hat , you need two , one to use and one to cover it up with !

jather · « **Reply #51 on:** May 07, 2009, 04:38:17 PM »

beauty may only be skin-deep, but ugly goes all the way to the bone! never have understood how some keep their head so far up their backside for so long....without suffocating! never quite figgered why someone standing in crap up to their nose would go and open their mouth! problem with arguing with a fool is...those watching from the side can't tell which one's which! folks taught me that if i didn't have something good to say that i should say nothing, good thing silence sometimes says volumes! you're pulling my leg!-no i'm not grandpa, i never touched you![true story!] can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear! sometimes even a blind sow finds an acorn! good lord gave us 2 ears and only 1 mouth-perhaps a clue that we oughta listen twice as much as we talk!........... growing up in the country, heard a lot of sayin's, could go on for hours with quips. i think i better heed my learnin' and hush. whole lots to read/listen to at this site! sure is a wealth here, thank you one and all!........jather.

WolfTrap · « **Reply #52 on:** May 07, 2009, 04:45:26 PM »

Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day!

jim36 · « **Reply #53 on:** May 07, 2009, 06:06:02 PM »

Harder than Japanese rithmetic

gypsyman · « **Reply #54 on:** May 07, 2009, 06:17:32 PM »

If it has t*ts or wheels, your bound to have trouble with it.
If you know how many guns you have, you don't have enough guns.
If I'da known how it turned out, I'da picked my own cotton.
gypsyman

JPShelton · « **Reply #55 on:** May 07, 2009, 11:34:01 PM »

Reagrding the weather, on paticularly brisk fall mornings at the family deer hunting camp, my dad would proclaim that it was "colder than a witch's teat in a brass brazzier".

My uncle Bob was fond of this jingle -"a fartin' horse will never tire, a fartin' man is the man to hire."

-JP

williamlayton · « **Reply #56 on:** May 08, 2009, 01:06:30 AM »

This story is like a dogs tail, you can cut it off wherever you want.
Slick as snot on a brass doorknob.
If we all fell in love with the same woman it would be a hell of a fistfight.
Weak as pond water.
I feel better all over more than anywhere else.
Riding polly.
That dog won't hunt.
deny, deny, deny, and demand to see the evidence.
If, if and buts were candy and nuts we would all have a Merry Christmas.
Blessings

billy_56081 · « **Reply #57 on:** May 08, 2009, 01:35:10 AM »

"drunker than 6 indians" I told my buddy to make damn sure he did not use his favorite saying when we were shooting prairie dogs in South Dakota on the Crow Creek res.

Tommyt · « **Reply #58 on:** May 08, 2009, 02:01:10 AM »

I think this one was NOT mentioned yet

"Can't hit the side of a Barn"

Didi I see ?
One Bad Apple

If you walk with People That Limp

" Feet Up " Crossing a Railroad Track

Find a Penny Pick it up ........For today!!...You'll have good Luck

2 sheets to the Wind

SHOOTALL · « **Reply #59 on:** May 08, 2009, 02:32:58 AM »

can't hit his self in the butt with both hands .

Made my skin crawl so bad i smelled my own butt !

And from WVA. does divorce mean we ain't brother and sister no more too ?

after picking up and dropping something hot " didn't take long to look at that "

Don't drink anymore , don't drink any less either .

she must be one of the lee sisters - home or ug .