A few years back, I happened to have driven 
by the house just as a transformer popped 
and burning oil flew everywhere and started 
a fire in the alleyway. 
A pinhead hoodrat was trying to reconnect 
his cable television, and shorted some wires. 
The fire chief thought I did it, but I told him 
to check the emergency rooms for somebody 
with oil burns.  Duh . . .