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Found on web... No right or wrong answer..just YOUR answer. Suppose you were faced with this dilemma this couple is faced with, what would YOU do ?
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© MarketWatch illustration
THE MONEYIST
Dear Quentin,
My husband and I have three adult children whom we love very much, and wish for them to have healthy, productive, ethical and loving lives.
Like many siblings, even though they were raised in the same household, they have their own individual lives with disparate beliefs and views. We don’t always agree with them, but respect them nonetheless as adults.
Even so, we do let them know how we feel as parents and remind them of how they were raised. And yes, there have been some heated discussions over the years, but ultimately we know that our relationships are more important than politics or religious beliefs.
However, sometimes the fruit rolls very far from the tree. We have a daughter who lives in a different state and has refused to communicate with us for over two years, and simply doesn’t want us to know anything about her life.
‘Are we being vengeful or malicious to consider dropping her, or just realistic and practical?’
She has criticized and mocked our family’s values, and even accused us of things that never happened. She did this both on social media and in person.
She has told us that we are toxic parents, and she doesn’t need the stress we create for her with our beliefs. OK. That’s how she feels. We are very hurt by her words and accusations, and her siblings are also perplexed and think that she’ll get over it.
We have tried to contact her, but we are ignored. She has made her point clear. She is married and has a good profession — and, I assume, a happy life without our “stress.”
At times, I feel she’s not my daughter anymore. At least, she doesn’t want to be. My husband and I have even considered removing her from our will, but go back and forth, especially when we think of her as a young child.
But then we decide that she will always be our child regardless, and should inherit her portion, which will be about $2 million or more in today’s value. Honestly, I don’t think she would even care if we disinherited her.
Are we being vengeful or malicious to consider dropping her, or just realistic and practical? Should we give her the benefit of the doubt and demonstrate our love unconditionally, and leave her in our will?
My children have no idea of the value of their inheritance, as we have always been frugal. Nor have they any idea that we are considering dropping their sibling from our will.
We’re in our early 60s and hopefully will be around for a couple of more decades, but you never know — and we need to update our wills anyway, whether or not we decide to cut off our daughter.
the giving tree
