Ron,
If you reload your own ammo, taming the recoil down is not that big a deal. Drop from a 250 grain bullet in the .45 Colt to a 200 grain, or even a 180 or 160 grain, and reduce the powder accordingly. You can make the .45 Colt quite bearable that way.
If you don't reload, the .38 special may indeed be your best bet.
Stainless handguns are great. I started with blue/color case hardened (what Ruger calls that paint job) and quickly learned to regret it. I now have three sets of stainless guns, .357 Magnum, .44-40, and .45 Colt. I have one pair of blued birdshead Rugers, a pair of the Millennium phosphate finish Uberti Cattleman, and a pair of blued Pietta 1851 Navy revolvers. The blued ones stay in the safe most of the time.
Marlin 1894s are great rifles, as are the '92 clones. I have one Marlin '94, and one Rossi '92. I have four Uberti 1873's, two .45 Colt, one .44-40, and one .357 magnum. I prefer the '73, but it is far and away more expensive. Expect to spend $800 to $1000 for a new in box one, and around $1200 for one "slicked and short stroked". Marlin or '92 (or a '94 Winchester or pump like the Thunderbolt) only in B-western, but you can shoot the '73 in all categories.
The 1887 shotgun (lever action one) is real big on style points, but slow. I have one, and use it only when I'm really playing and don't care about scores or speed. You can shoot it in every class, but can only load two rounds at a time to compete with the doubles.
Actually, you have two choices in a double. First is a hammered double, which you can shoot in any class you want. Second is a slick back, a hammerless double. You can shoot that in every class except classic cowboy. And don't discount speed with a double. The unofficial world records for both hammered and hammerless doubles is less than four seconds for four shots fired on target.
The '97 is a favorite of mine. Right now, I have four...three originals and an IAC that was tuned by Coyote Cap. You can only load a maximum of two at a time in the '97 also.
Great to see you so interested. If you were in North Alabama, I'd invite you to tomorrow's match, and we would waive the shooters fee for you as a first time shooter.
Good luck, pard.