>I was thinking about how a status symbol of today
> is those cell phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse. I can't afford one.
> So, I'm wearing my garage door
> opener.
I also made a cover for my hearing aid and now I
> have what they call blue teeth, I
> think.
>
>You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before
>I realized that people didn't like me anyway.
>
>I was thinking that women should put pictures
>of missing husbands on beer cans!
>
>I was thinking about old age and decided that
>old age is 'when you still have something on the
>ball,but you are just too tired to bounce it.'
>
>I thought about making a fitness movie for
>folks my age, and call it 'Pumping Rust'.
>
>I've gotten that dreaded furniture disease.
>That's when your chest is falling into your
> drawers!
>
>When people see a cat's litter box, they always
>say, 'Oh, have you got a cat?'
Just once I want to say, 'No, it's
> for company!'
>
>Employment application blanks always ask who
>is to be notified in case of an emergency.
I think you should write, 'A
> Good Doctor'!
>
>I was thinking about how people seem
>to read the Bible a whole lot more as they
>get older.
Then, it dawned on me. They were
> cramming for their finals.
>
>As for me, I'm just hoping God grades
>on the curve.
>
